I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
