my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Terrible idea I love it
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
