i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
