I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
