Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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