Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
