ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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