I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
