I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
