i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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