Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
