Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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