Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
