that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
