me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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