He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
