the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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