We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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