we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
