epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
