We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i came on her dog
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
