almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
