I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
