Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize