i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So vagazzling was a success
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
