Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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