he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
