come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
