I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
