the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
