Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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