I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
