I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
