just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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