So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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