i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
