there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
