At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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