Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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