Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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