Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
it's like iHOP with fire
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
