bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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