It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
