why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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