i just wanna soil my oats bro
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
