i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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