Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
