took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.