oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?