alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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