You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
