Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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