Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You know, be my cock's hype man.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
