dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
