K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I forget how to act sober
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
