I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
