Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
