yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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