tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
