he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
