i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
