Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
