need another drink. this is the easiest way
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
