He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
