Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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