No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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