Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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